Open Mic 024: Fastest Facebook Friend

Today being Thanksgiving Eve, I thought there would be less comics at the open mics, if they’re open at all.  So I was planning on going home until two circumstances intervened.  One, my wife’s friend was coming over.  Granted, she was coming over at 10 pm, but still, she was coming over.  And two, Marty wanted to grab some food.  I didn’t want to turn him down, nor did I want to go home after eating, so off to New York I went.

I arrived at CB’s Comedy Club a bit too early, and got to talking to another comic who was also waiting to get in.  Within a couple of minutes of talking, bam, he wanted to find me on Facebook, and I accepted a few minutes later.  I know Facebook friendships are shallow, but I don’t think I’ll ever beat that record for quickest friending after meeting.  I just checked his profile and he has over 1600 friends.  I guess for him, 1600 is everyone he’s ever met.

Once downstairs, I ordered my mandatory drink.  Last time I was here, I tried to go cheap with a Bud Light Draft, only to find that it cost $7.  I also suspected that all drinks here were $7.  So tonight, I went with Rum & Coke.  While nursing that drink, I met the guy who asked for my e-mail last week (his name will now be E-Mail).  He did e-mail me that night and is looking to start his own open mic.  He asked if I was interested in joining him… we’ll see how that goes.

I talked with the Facebook guy a bit more, and he said he had a show this Saturday in Long Island.  How to get shows?  Connections and dick sucking, he said.  He also felt a lot of pressure from the comedy club owner or booking agent to bring a lot of people to the mic.  I guess that’s low rung business of comedy for you.  He also showed me his typed set – it was pretty much a script.  Me, I just go by one or two sentences.  And after all that build up, he was not funny.  I think I got better jokes than he does.  And I’m jumping to that conclusion because this was his warm-up for the Saturday night show and I’m assuming this was one of his best material.

As for my set, I did a whole new batch of jokes tonight due to E-Mail’s presence.  I did fairly well, although my pedophile joke did cause one woman to repeat “gross” several times.  Trust me, the joke is as tame as it gets, considering it’s about pedophilia.  No physical acts are described nor pantomimed.

After the show, I had 2 options: Charley O’s mic at 8 or 1-Republik mic at 9.  It was already 8:30 and I didn’t know how to get to 1-Republik via subway or bus so I decided to go home… until I changed my mind and stopped by Charley O’s.  As I feared at the beginning of the night, there was no mic.  Oh well, at least I didn’t have to travel far to find out.

Tags: CB's Comedy Club, E-Mail, Facebook