Unwanted Weekend

Today is a Saturday, the first day of a 2-day weekend.  2-day weekend that greets us after a 5-day workweek like a rainbow after a rainstorm; 2 days of relief after 5 days of waking up to an alarm, over 17 hours spent on the bus, and 40 hours at the office.  We all look forward to the weekend for some sleeping in and relaxing.

But this weekend does not feel good for me.  I am not happy this weekend.  I wish Monday would come soon.  I did not want this weekend to come, and I cannot wait until it is over.  And this is because of the way I wasted this week at work.

I am working on my biggest project of the  year at work.  This annual project took 6 months last year, and I hope to finish it in 3 months this year.  But this is only my second time doing it, and it is a very complicated process.  And that evokes my weakness: procrastination.  Not that I want to procrastinate, but when faced with something that is very boring and tedious, I tend to tune myself out.  And I did some work this week but I spent so much time not working.  I regret not working hard, and this wasted week is really bothering me.

I really shouldn’t be wasting company time like this.  I want to make things right.  I want the feeling of accomplishment.  I want to get a lot done.  And once I do that, weekend will feel much more deserved.  Next week is a 3-day week, probably followed by a 2-hour early office closing on Wednesday.  It’s a short week.  I can do it.  I can stay focused all day.  Then hit the comedy clubs at night.

I do share quite a bit about myself, and sometimes about my work, on this blog.  This is why I would like to ask you not to mention this site if you are e-mailing me at work.  Everything gets monitored there, and I do not want anything linking me to this site.

Die with a T

So my “diet” has not been going all that well.  Maybe that is because I really haven’t done anything different.  A co-worker brought in donuts, and I ate some.  Went out for dinner with my wife and I had fried calamari, steak, and sweet potato fries.  I haven’t made drastic changes to my diet, but maybe I should if I want drastic changes.

I did eat a lot of green peppers and carrots yesterday.  And I spent about 45 miutes on the elliptical machine on Tuesday and Thursday.  Today, I’m only going to eat cereal, oatmeal, and veggies until dinner.  My strategy is to have low-calorie foods around so that if I eat a lot, it still won’t be that bad.  Good thing is, I really do like raw veggies.  Bad thing is that although I thought I could eat nothing but veggies all day, they’re a bit unsatisfying when eaten in place of meals.

I will continue my mild workout regimen.  Since my weight has been steady for a while, adding a bit of exercise and more veggies should theoretically lead to weight loss.  I am at 181 pounds right now.  I hope it goes down below 180 very soon.

Grammar Nazi

I am kind of a stickler when it comes to spelling and grammar, which is not to say that I never make mistakes.  It’s just that so many people write things like “would of” and “him and I” and such.  I cannot even imagine all the ways in which people take too much freedom with the English language.  Some may say, why does it matter, as long as you get what I mean.  Well, my best defense to that woulf be that 1. not all statements are clear when written with grammatical errors, and 2. If none of us cared about grammar and spelling, there would be more and more of those unclear statements.  And if we didn’t care about spelling and grammar, I would wonder where this slippery slope would end.

Anyway, this post isn’t about the obvious errors, but rather, fringe rules that could change and may already have changed based on usage.  And some that are not rules at all, just preferences.  To follow yesterday’s format, here is a list of grammatical rules I follow:

1. Period outside quotes.  I learned in school that period should be inside quotes when quotes are ending a sentence.  However, there are cases when it looks odd for this period to be in there, especially when it is replaced by other punctuations, such as the question mark.  And really, period really belongs to the sentence, and not the quote.  Aesthetically, period does look better inside quotes but this may just be due to habit.  I’ve seen others write with periods outside of quotes, although I am unsure if this due to ignorance or conscious decision.  I am going to join a movement of releasing the period from the clutches of quotes.  And if there is no movement, I am starting it.

2. Ending the sentence with a preposition.  I’m not sure if that’s the right term, actually.  I mean ending sentences with words like “in”, “with”, and “at”.  (Ooh, a good example of #1, with commas and a period all outside quotes.)  There is an old joke where a baseball manager asks the umpire, “hey, where was that ball at?” (This time, question mark is part of the quote and not the sentence.)  Umpire says that he can’t end his sentence with “at” so the manager says, “okay, where was that ball at, asshole?”  Technically, it is incorrect to say “pen is the tool I write with” and it should instead be “pen is the tool with which I write”.  (Yes, putting a period outside of quotes is still awkward for me but I still think it is better.)  But I think majority of English speakers would agree with me that the first sentence sounds more natural than the second.  That example was pretty simple but there are times when the workaround to be grammatically “correct” is much harder and takes a lot more words.  This is not my idea, actually; one of my writing professors in college believed this as well (I think…).  Language is always changing depending on how people use it, and I think this is one change that should be made.

3. Double spaces.  This is really trivial, but should one put a single space or two spaces after a period and before the beginning of the next sentence?  All my life, I’ve been a one-space man.  But the documents I deal with at work use the two-period system.  I started using two spaces in my personal life so that I can get used to it and would not make this mistake at work.  So that is why this blog has two spaces following a period.

Yes, I realize I am far more strict about this than most people.  But what can I do?  It’s just the way I am.  And if I make any grammatical errors, please feel free to correct me.

Back to Studying

It has been two weeks since I took my actuarial exam MLC.  That means I still must wait 6 to 8 more weeks before I get the results.  It is important for me that I pass this exam for a number of reasons.  Here, I will go over them:

1. I already failed this exam twice.  Counting the one time I didn’t take it, that’s three exam sessions without a pass, and this knocked me off the actuarial student track at work.  So instead of geting 27 half days, I only got 10, and that only applies up to the next exam session.  In order to get back on the actuarial student path, I must pass this exam, and then pass exam 4/C in two tries.  But if I pass this, the company gives me the 27 half days for those two tries.

2. I must utilize my VEE credit.  Back in May, when I knew there was a high probability of me failing, I tried to cover my bases.  To become an actuary, one needs not only the exams, but VEEs (Validation by Education something) in Econ, Corporate Finance, and Applied Stat.  Getting two VEEs in one exam session is equivalent to passing one exam, so I tried to get those two VEEs.  I already had Corporate Finance and I was successful in getting Econ but I failed Applied Stat.  In addition, exam MLC is considered to be a “half” exam, since it split about 4 years ago from an original 3/M to become MFE and MLC.  So I need this AND a VEE credit to get credit for a full exam and trigger the scenario detailed above. I already have a VEE credit for this session so if I pass, I get full exam credit. However, if I don’t pass, I’ll have to get another VEE.

3. Exam fee.  Company pays for the first two exam attempts, and then only pays if you pass.  This is my first time I’m in danger of not getting my exam fee reimbursed.  (That’s $300.)

4. Fresh Start.  I’m sick of reading the same material from the same books.  Company provides two study materials per exam and I’ve already used them all. I would much rather start fresh and get new books for a new exam.

Even if I pass this exam, I have six more exams to go, plus 2 online classes and an Applied Stats class. I do not think I will complete all of this but I continue to take exams because each exam passed means more money and more days off work. And if I were to get far enough to earn some letters to stick behind my name on my business cardp? Well, that just opens up more doors if I wanted to move on to a different company. FCAS (Fellow of the Casualty Actuarial Society) is the goal but ACAS (Associate) would be just fine. (Difference between the two is 3 exams.)

Meanwhile, I’m still working on another 4-lettered credential, CPCU (Chartered Property & Casualty Underwriter). I passed 3 of 8 exams so far and I’m studying for my fourth right now. Reaching the halfway point means a $500 bonus ($300 after taxes) so I hope I can get that in one shot.

Bus Passengers II

Last night, I was one of the first people to board the bus returning home.  I took my favorite seat, 3rd row on the right, and saw about 10 more people walk in.  That’s when Al Pacino got on the bus.  This Al Pacino-lookalike then had the balls to sit next to me.  There were at least 5 2-seaters left and he sat next to me.  I was considering moving to an open 2-seater but before long, the overhead display showed there were 33 people on the bus.  Since there are only 28 2-seaters, there was a chance I wouldn’t get my own so I stayed put.  But considering some of those people probably sat together so the chances of Al Pacino and me both getting our own seats was excellent.  Yet, he sat next to me.

Having this happen during both legs of my commute was annoying, and that is the reason for me continuing the admittedly boring post from yesterday.  I guess I just couldn’t believe that this happened twice in one day, which I don’t believe has ever happened to me before, and it happened right after I complained about it.  I guess God has a sense of humor.

But this guy (I would make Scarface references but I have not seen that movie, and making references to Devil’s Advocate, Two For The money, or Ocean’s 13 probably means I’m trying too hard) also invaded my leg space.  As I revealed yesterday, my outturned legs require more space for me to be 100% comfortable.  I crossed my legs at the ankles to keep them within my side of the seats, but when I moved them to “regular” seating position, with feet flat on the ground, I found that Al Pacino has taken over some of my space.  Slightly over half of his right knee was against the seatback of the seat in front of me, not him.  I need all the space I can get to get my feet far enough apart so that my knees do not topple over, and this guy was not letting me do that.  This matter is really too trivial to be worth saying anything, so I did what I had to do.

I pressed my thighs against his.  Not enough to push him back.  Just enough for him to feel it.  Just enough to say, “hey, that’s far enough, buddy.  Why don’t you build your 5-diamond casino hotel elsewhere?” (See, I told you it would feel forced.)  I guess this is a passive-agressive manuever but I feel that it is my only option; asking him to move his leg would seem weird and petty.  I’ve done this manuever a few times in the past, and sometimes I did this while pretending to be asleep so that the touch doesn’t seem intentional.  I didn’t pretend this time but I did fall asleep for 20 minutes or so.

As passengers started getting off at the local stops, he did another thing I don’t like: there were now open 2-seaters all over the bus, but he did not move to any of them.  I guess his lack of desire for wanting 2 seats was clearly shown by him sitting next to me in the first place but nevertheless, it was annoying.  I had to get him to move.  I had to break out the big guns.

I settled myself deeper into the seat and took up a bit more space.  This put a bit more pressure against his upper body.  By this point, his right knee retreated back over the border, but my thigh was staying right with him like a guy trying to defend Kobe Bryant.  Now, this certainly is a rare move, and I don’t remember going this far before.  But desperate times, yadda yadda yadda.  And it seems to have worked – within a couple of stops, the guy was outta there, moving to an empty 2-seater.  It was victory at last, but the war took too long.  10 minutes later, I got off.

But my luck seems to have done a 180 today as I got a seat in the back row, which isn’t actually a 2-seater, but I do have an open seat next to me.  My leg is free to live in a land without borders, and it feels good.  I also caught an Express bus, and made it just in time, which means I won’t be late for today’s meeting with the VP.  I guess this is God’s way of saying, “hey, sorry about yesterday, I was just messing with you.  No hard feelings?”

Bus Passengers

Hello readers.  Today, we will go over another boring aspect of my life: the commuting experience.  If you do not want to be bored, please feel free to move on to an earlier post or a different website.

I am writing this on the bus.  It is one of the ways in which the Droid has changed my habits.  I was motivated to write about this today because a man has just sat next to me on the bus.  This would not normally bother me, but when this happens while there are other 2-seaters completely open, it bothers me.  Dude, there are other seats where you can have BOTH seats – why you gotta get in on MY 2-seater?

Well, I guess I do know the reason.  One is that some people just do not care about having extra space.  I once had an old lady sit next to me when there were only two other passengers on the bus.  Two.  Four people on the bus and two are sitting together.  I really wanted to move to a different seat but that would mean the old lady would have had to get up for me, and maybe she would have taken it personally that I moved away from her.  Today, I looked back, and there were at least 4 or 5 2-seaters available, and this man decided to sit next to me.  I guess it is not so bad, since he is not fat nor smelly. (I couldn’t think of a more mature term than smelly.)

That brings me to the second reason: ability to choose your seatmate.  These buses usually travel up to my city of work completely, or almost completely full.  This means the odds of getting a 2-seater to yourself is very small.  So what this man did was to just pick a skinny guy to sit next to, instead of having fate decide who would sit next to him had he picked next to him.  He chose a low-risk, low-reward option instead of a high-risk (fat seatmate), high-reward (no seatmate) option.  That is understandable, although I would never give up my desire to have a 2-seater all to myself.

Having 2 seats to myself is comfortable for numerous reasons.  One, my legs spread out a little bit.  By that, I mean when I stand up straight, my feet naturally point slightly outward, instead of being parallel to each other.  I think there is a term for this, but I don’t know what it is.  I believe my legs became shaped this way due to my grandmother always carrying me on her back when I was a kid, with my legs draping over her sides.  Anyway, this becomes an inconvenience on the bus because I try to make sure all parts of my body stay within my side of the 2-seater but my legs want to spread out like they’re kings of the castle.  Having my feet slightly spread apart isb usually enough to keep my legs in line but I sometimes sit with my butt all the way in, so that the backs of my knees touch my seat and create friction that fights their desire to spread out.  Or a more common method is to simply cross my legs at my ankles.

Okay this is getting too boring even for me, so I’ll try to make the rest of this short.  Having 2 seats means I can put my bag next to me, instead of on my lap.  It means I can freely move my arms without worrying about hitting someone.  And it means I don’t have to juggle my book, notebook, notes, calculator, and any reference tables when I’m studying for actuarial exams on the bus.

Well, the guy sitting next to me seems asleep, and his gamble worked out for both of us since the bus is full and neither of us got seated next to an obese person or an aromatically challenged person.  So sir, thank you.

Discipline

One thing I must remember is that just because exam is over doesn’t mean that I can be lazy.  During the 2-month run-up to the November 2, 2010 exam day, every day, every hour was a fight against the desire to just do nothing.  But since then, I haven’t done much, save for my return to the open mic scene and a couple of trips to Atlantic City.  Well, I must really get my discipline back on track because there are other things I need to do such as… lose weight.

If you’ve read through some of my posts from the beginning, you would have read that I also tried to lose weight back then.  Well, that goal is now back in my life.  Watching what I eat is not an issue for me, but finding time and motivation to exercise is.  I was planning on going to open mic every weeknight when I didn’t have plans, which is 3-4 nights/week, and when I do that, I’d get home no earlier than 10pm.  Would I have the energy to wake up at 7am, get off work at 6pm, roam the streets of NY and come home after 10pm, and then do 30 minutes on the elliptical machine?  I don’t think so, but is that what I must do?  Maybe I do.  Maybe I should do some push-ups right now.

Studying is hard, but your progress is pretty easy to see by the page you’re on.  Exercising is tough because you have to do it diligently and won’t see the results right away.  But I must do it.  I am at around 180-183 pounds, and I would like to lose some of that.  And now that I’ve written that, I’ll do my best to keep my word.  I will use this blog to keep me accountable.  I may not get a chance to weigh myself every day, but I will update you on my progress.  I don’t know who’s reading this and how often, but just knowing that someone MAY check this blog on a regular basis will keep me going.  Hopefully.

Gambling

I was trying to think of some angle for today’s post.  Something interesting, something insightful.  But it is 10:45pm already, and I should spend the rest of this day watching Up with my wife instead of blogging.  So I’ll just let you know how yesterday went.

We got a regular room at Taj Mahal, which is fine for us, especially at a cost of $5.  We played a little video poker, Let It Ride, and slots.  We had some pretty good luck until I wanted to try this Reel ’em In slot game and we blew $40 on it.  But it was fun, I guess, and overall we won about $40, including drink tips.  We also got $30 food credit, and $25 bonus for my wife signing up for the players club card, so it was good fun while even making a few bucks.  Once again, our casino trip didn’t result in us becoming millionaires, but we would take a trip like this any day.  Free drinks, free room, fun games, and if it doesn’t cost us that much, how can we resist?

Taj Mahal has been offering me complimentary rooms on weekends lately, so I have rooms booked on December 10 and December 18 also.  Hopefully, those trips will be winners also.

Open Mic 002

Instead of trying to come up with a clever new title, I decided it would be much easier to just number them.  And a math geek in me wanted to trash the archaic # sign, and assign 3 digits in it.  I think it will be pretty safe to say I will do between 100 and 999 open mic shows, and hopefully more.

And 002 was worse than 001.  I did not do that great in my return show, but yesterday was worse, and felt more worse, or worser.  (This is a legitimate situation to use the term “more worse” even though every grammatical bone in my body tells me that “more worse” is never correct.)

I went to Times Square Comedy Club (referred to as Times Square Arts Center in signs), a place I’ve been to a couple of times before but never on a Thursday.  There were a couple of talented comics there, ones that may not have gotten much laughs but whose style seemed polished.  I guess they are the type who are more funny than being a good writer.  I am the opposite, and that is not to say that I am a good writer, just that my writing is better than my ability to orally share it in a funny way.  (Now that I brought it up, I do think I write some funny stuff but not sure if it is funny enough to be professional, in an industry.)

There were about 15 to 20 people in the crowd, which dwindled down to about 8 by the time I took my turn.  I did get a few of them laughing on a couple of my jokes, but none enough to be considered successful.  I want to say I bombed but I have done shows where I got no laughs at all, so I came very close to bombing.  It wasn’t easy to take but I know there will be many more days like this one.

Not getting laughs is not all that bad because I’m trying new material all the time.  I see some comics that do 5 minutes of same jokes everytime I see them.  But maybe I should start working on a solid 5-minute set.  Figure out my best jokes, add some keepers, and memorize it by heart, instead of going up there with my notepad and reading random jokes.  I think that’s a good idea.  Even if I end up repeating my jokes, I’ll figure out what my best jokes are, and build a set around it.

It feels good to finally write about comedy, though, instead of fast food or cell phone cases.  I am finally living up to the name od this blog.  But I am going to Atlantic City again tonight so tomorrow’s post will be about that.

And Now We Return to the Dream Already in Progress

I am leaving work early on Friday, and yesterday was the easiest day for me to make up the hours.  Therefore, I did not leave work until after 8pm, and was only able to do one show.

Getting off the 9th Street PATH Station was very familiar.  Taking that walk south along 6th Avenue, I passed by all the usual sights.  Homeless man, street book sellers, actual book stores, Gray’s Papaya, 4th Street basketball court… it was good to see all the familiar sights again.  I walked all the way down to Bleecker Street and crossed it out of habit.  (Comedy Corner is on the other side of the street, or at least used to be.  They had open mics virtually every night of the week but I don’t see it on the open mic site, http://www.badslava.com, so I’m not sure if they’re still around.)  Walked down a couple of blocks, and I had made it back: Village Lantern.

I paid my $5 open mic fee and took a seat in the corner.  The waitress came around and I ordered an $8 beer.  Tipped $2 because I expect to be a regular visitor and I don’t want to be known as cheap.  But the $8 was a bit more than I thought it would be, since they used to have cheap draft specials for at least half off that price.  They had a sign that olive drinks were $4 – I assume those are martinis.  Would rather have beer but maybe I’ll try an olive drink next time.  Oh, and I have to buy something because there is a drink minimum.

When my turn came up, the host remembered me, as he introduced me with “this guy hasn’t been here in a while…”  The previous two comics before me both talked about pedophiles and I came up with a pedophile joke on the spot so I opened with that.  (Not 100% sure on the spelling of pedophile but I am not about to ask the lady sitting next to me on the bus right now.)  That joke got an acceptable response.  I followed that up with my 5-minute set, a 70-30 mix of old jokes and new jokes.  Most did not really get any laughs but a couple were okay.  But more importantly, I felt right at home.

I was thinking that I did my comedy thing so I’ll go home today but realized that I would not be satisafied with that kind of dedication.  So I’ll be looking for an open mic tonight, and hopefully get back on stage.