Tipping

I was at the new Hoboken location of Village Pourhouse with Jayshawn and Marty.  It was a decent bar, but the service was a bit lacking, especially the eye candy behind the bar.  She seemed very new, and ended up charging for Marty’s food when he ordered, not when the food came or after he was done eating.  Since the food was paid for before it was actually served, I thought tip should be given at the same time, but Marty disagreed and said he would tip after his meal.  (Now that I think about it, I think Marty forgot to tip.)  This post is not about how he is wrong, but about how I wish tips weren’t involved in the first place, thus avoiding the whole situation.

America is a tipping nation.  I bet it is one of the major questions tourists have when visiting our country.  Heck, even I have trouble with non-restaurantl tipping customs when traveling, such as bellhops and tour guides.  Some people aren’t aware that hotel maids get tips.  Taxi station attendant, buffet busboys, concierge, casino dealers… does everyone know how to tip these people, or would most of us have to look it up?

I once went to an upscale French restaurant in New York called La Grenouille.  When I got the bill, I was faced with two lines for tips.  I don’t recall why there were two lines, but it was something like one for the maitre d’ and one for the waiter, or host, or captain, I’m not sure.  But there I was, at a fancy restaurant, not knowing how to tip.  I had to ask our waiter how to tip.

(About a week ago on the bus, I sat in front of a man who cleared his throat every ten seconds.  It was annoying enough that I knew I couldn’t stand hearing it for the rest of the trip, so I actually moved to a different seat.  Well, that man is now sitting next to me.  I got the window seat so he has me boxed in.  Bus is getting pretty full so I don’t think getting up is an option.  I just put on my headset to play some MP3s and I can still hear him, unless I crank up the volume too loud for the comfort of my own and those sitting around me.  This is going to be the longest commute of my life.)

I wish US did not have this tipping culture.  I wish restaurant owners would raise the salaries of the employees, and raise the food prices accordingly.  There are some, Marty included, that argue this system would lead to poorer service, and we as guests deserve the right to pay however much we want depending on service.  I’ve also read that European servers, who rely much less on tips, if at all, are more rude than their American counterparts.  I can’t really argue against these points, but my opinion is that tips don’t encourage good service as much as we think they do.  Not counting obviously horrible service, I think most servers think they provide a good service.  Plus, some customers may be picky, and their definition of a good server may be different from that of the server.  And the way we tip based on these services is also different – to some, 15% is for below average service, while others may pay 15% for good service.  Plus, I think most servers would just call the customer cheap for leaving a bad tip instead of thinking about what they did wrong to get a small tip.  All of that boils down to this: amount of tip speaks more about the tipper than the tippee.

So, does this tipping culture encourage good service?  Would all servers stop smiling, stop refilling our drinks, stop getting us extra napkins if they received a flat pay, instead of living on tips?  I can’t imagine service getting better, but I don’t think it will be noticeably worse.  But I admit this is the weakest point of my argument, especially since I’ve never had a job that relied on tips.  But there are many situations that require mandatory gratuity.  If a party of 6 gets an automatic 18% gratuity added to their bill, would the server provide worse service than had the table been a party of 5?  Why put in extra effort when 18% has been guaranteed?  That is a rhetorical question, of course, since I believe most people would say no.  I think servers generally try to do a good job, regardless of tips, for the same reason the rest of us do: get promoted and/or not get fired.  And for general sense of responsibility.  I don’t think restaurant servers completely lack this characteristic and are entirely driven by tips.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, gratuity is involved in venues beyond restaurants and bars.  Wedding reception halls usually add an automatic gratuity of 18% or 20%.  Considering these places cost at least $100 and over $200 per guest, gratuity can be thousands of dollars.  What is the point of gratuity if it is automatically charged?  Captain and maitre d’ are also expected set gratuities, which I gave even though their services were less than satisfactory.

I also do not like gratuities at places like open bars and all-inclusive resorts.

Wow this was a long post, I’m already at work.  Maybe I will continue this later, but this will be it for now.  Conclusion: tipping sucks.

Just Want 10 Minutes

When I drive to a bus stop in the morning, there are 3 different park & rides I can go to.  First stop is abot 10 minutes away, with a 5-minute brisk walk to the bus stop.  The last bus here comes between 7:38 – 7:42 but I play it safe at 7:37.  Parking here is free but there is also a risk that all the parking spots are taken.  If I calculate that I won’t make it to the stop #1 with enough time to go to #2 if a spot isn’t available, I go directly to Spot #2.

Spot #2 is a few minutes away, with a 5-minute regular walk between the parking lot and the bus stop, thereby making this the shortest walk.  Bus here is scheduled to leave at 7:43, so that is the time I go by.  But this lot also has a good chance of filling up by this time in the morning, and it also costs $2/day, to be paid in paper bills only.  If I don’t see a spot, or if there isn’t enough time, I go to Stop #3.

Stop #3 is another few minutes away, and it is my last shot at catching my bus.  If I miss the bus here, I have to drive, which is the worst option.  Bus here generally leaves around 7:48 – 7:52, but I play it safe for 7:48.  This lot used to fill up by 7 am when I used to park here two years ago but nowdays, it barely fills more than half of its spaces.  It also costs $2/day to park here.  There is a machine that accepts both singles and quarters, but my experience has been that the bill acceptor malfunctions frequently.  Therefore, I’ve gotten into a habit of only using quarters because if I get there without quarters and my singles aren’t accepted, then I just missed the bus because if I’m parking here, I most likely will not have enough time to run back to the car to get change.  Biggest issue with this spot, aside from being farthest from my house, is that it takes a good 7 to 8 minutes of a decent-paced walk from the parking lot to the bus stop.  I’ve had to run out portions of that walk to bring down the travel time to 5 or 4 minutes.  Today was one of those days.

There was a cop working on the parking meter when I got there.  I had to wait for about 2 minutes, which meant I now had to run to get to the bus stop at or before my safe time.  I was thinking about asking the cop for a ride but I did not seriously consider it.  In the end, I ran with whatever little lung capacity I have and made it to the bus stop at 7:48.  Bus arrived at 7:51.  Typical, but I cannot take this chance, since this is the last bus and I am willing to run in my business casuals to avoid driving to work.

And all of this last minute desperate, every-minute-is-important search for a parking spot can be avoided if I get up 10 minutes earlier.  And I have to get up earlier nowdays than in the summer to melt my iced up windows.  Just 10 minutes.

Smoking Update: Today is yet another Day 1.  11 hours since my last cig so far.  I did not use the Day # system last time because my last cig then was in the morning, and I did not want to count that day as neither Day 1 nor Day 0.

Diet Update: Still holding steady in my usual range at 179 this morning.

My Readers

As I mentioned before, Sebastian is not my real name.  I don’t know how I came up with it, but Sebastian Saw just came to me (after a few names that were considerably worse), and I went with it.  I keep my identity a secret because I’m not really writing this for anyone.  But that is not to say that I don’t want anyone to read this blog, since I do check the site stats.  I guess the phrase “have your cake and eat it too” applies here since I don’t want to tell anyone about my site, but I do want people to read it.

In fact, I’ve only told 4 people about this blog, and here they are:

The Wife: I told her, and she’s even seen me post in bed, but she’s not all that interested in what I have to write here.

Jayshawn: Sandy has been the most devoted reader of my online blogs since I started writing over 11 years ago.  As such, when I started this blog (or at least started writing again), I had to tell him about it.  I guess that explains the biggest reason for not telling people about this site: people won’t care.  And I told him because I know he cares.  Personally, less readers the better since I can be more honest, and the best way to control my readership is by not telling people.

Marty: He probably doesn’t really care either, but he is also a good friend of Sandy, so I told him as well.  I’m not actively telling people, but I’m not keeping it a secret, either.

Chelirious: He opened this site for me about a year ago, and I also had my previous Stand Up columns on his old website.  Not sure if he’s still checking on this site, but he does know about it.

That is all, but I think I’m going to start using this blog and the name Sebastian Saw online, such as in message boards and other people’s blogs.  A couple of weeks ago, I left a comment on a blog I’ve been reading off and on for the past few months, “Jennipal — the adventure has begun“, and she visited at least once because she mentioned my To Do list on her response.  Whenever I leave comments online from this point on, I will be Sebastian Saw.

Christmas Spirit

This was supposed to be titled “Open Mic 003.”  (I know I said I will not put period inside quotes because it would be more consistent to have period outside quotes, but it just does not look right.)  Last night, I was meeting up some friends for drinks so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone by booking an open mic at the Times Square Comedy Club.  Even the timing was perfect, as the open mic was from 6:30pm to 9pm, and I was to meet my friends at 9pm.  But I ran a bit late and did not arrive at the club until 7:15pm.  When I got there, about a dozen comics were just lounging around.  Apparently, the host of the mic was not there yet.  I heard some of the comics asking the club employees to let them just do the show themselves and pay the club $5 each, since that’s what we would pay anyway.  But for a few reasons, none of them convincing, the club denied their request.  According to them, mic was run by that host, and if that host was not there, there was no mic.  This was certainly disappointing, but I felt better about being late.

Comics gave up and left around 7:45pm, so that’s when I left.  I took a s…l…o…w… stroll from the club (8th Ave. and 42nd St.) to K-Town (6th Ave. and 32nd St.).  I had to make this 15-minute walk last 75 minutes.  I still had 40 minutes to kill when I arrived at Macy’s on 34th St., their flagship store.  They had a Christmas story called Virginia something being shown on 6 window displays, each display showing a 2-minute episode of a 6-episode story.  With plenty of time to kill, I stuck around to watch all the shows.  Story was about a little girl named Virginia who wanted to find out if Santa Claus was real (original, I know).  Well, I guess this show had an effect on me because I got a bit of the Christmas Spirit after viewing the show.

Throughout the show, there was a constant jingling of the bell rang by the Salvation Army donation collector.  I’ve ignored this bell for many, many Christmases but for some reason, I wanted to do something about it this time.  How much should I give?  $1?  $5?  $20?  I settled on 2 $5’s, and stuck my money into the pot.  But to my mild surprise, I did not get a thank you, or any kind of acknowledgment from the collector.  I would have expected at least a “God bless you” or a “Merry Christmas” but there was nothing.  Maybe it is not easy to find volunteers for all those collection pots, and these guys are just minimum wage workers.  I don’t know.  Oh well, I didn’t do it to get a thank you, so that was okay, just unexpected.

As I was watching the Virginia story, I was debating the donation.  I’m about to drop some money on drinking in a few minutes, and I probably would not even notice if I spent an extra $10 on drinks.  So wouldn’t it be better to have that $10 go to a good cause?  But then, my $10 would not even be noticed in the millions that Salvation Army is collecting this season, and this $10 bill would make more difference to me than divided into thousands of different kids or needy people, minus the administrative costs.  Finally, here was the winning argument: but if everyone felt that way, no one would give any money and that would be the worst case scenario.  If we all give just a little, it would make a big difference.

As a penny pincher, I rarely donate money.  I don’t even remember the last time I gave money to the Salvation Army, if I did at all.  But maybe this is the beginning of something new.  Maybe I will be a more generous giver.  We shall see.

Black Friday

So the laptop saga has drawn to a close.  I finally made my decision on the laptop.  The decision was made around midnight last night, when I found a deal on a Sony Vaio with Intel i3 processor on BestBuy.com for $579.  Definitely not cheaper – I could have bought a HP or a Dell directly from their websites and saved myself about $100 but our laptop’s power adapter is no longer working, so we really could not wait another week or two for the delivery.  Plus, Sony Vaios are generally more expensive due to the Sony name, and $579 was a good deal for it.  And, we were kind of tired of Dell brand and, gotta admit, a Sony Vaio laptop is cooler.  I will be picking up this baby today.  And for those interested, here are the specs: Intel Core i3-370M processor, 4GB DDR3 memory, 500 GB hard drive, 15.5″ screen, integrated graphics, and a DVD-R/RW.

Even though I already made the purchase, I went out looking to see if I can still get any of the doorbusters.  I like a good computer, but I can’t help but want the best deal possible.  So we went off to Wal-Mart at about 1:30am, and their set-up was very confusing.  They would normally have lines outside, but since they opened at midnight, lines were inside.  Why the lines?  Because even though the store opened at midnight, the doorbuster deals were still being held until 5am.  So they had different queues set up (I don’t know why I just used a British lingo) for different products.  Confusing part was deciphering (I don’t know why I didn’t just say “figuring out” like normal people) which lines were for which products.  Some had signs but many didn’t – I just had to ask the employees.  And some employees were wearing street clothes so at times I couldn’t figure out who were employees and who weren’t.  Somehow, it seemed sadder to see people in sleeping bags in the catfood aisle instead of outside the store.  In the end, I could not find the line for the $398 HP laptop line.  There was a $298 HP laptop line but I think there was a different line.  When I asked one of the street-clothed employees, he said I should just look around and find the line.  Great service.  But then again, on a day like Black Friday, customer service is not what drives people to the stores.

Worst thing about the Wal-Mart trip was the lady in front of me at the checkout line, who was flabbergasted that her purchases came to over $1000.  She decided to review each and every single one of her purchases, canceling some, and running her sons back to check the prices, and also seeing if some of her purchases were supposed to be held until 5am.  Okay, I know you are excited about good deals but you are a moron if you’re not at least watching your budget and what you’re putting in the cart.  Black Friday sale does not mean free.  Unless you do not have a budget, at least try to keep a running tally so that you don’t end up shocked and annoy employees and people behind you in line.

Then, we were thinking of hitting the outlet mall 20 minutes away but decided against it, and went to a local mall.  Ended up not buying that much, but I got 4 dress shirts for under $50 at Macy’s.  Had to make some hard decisions on a kitchen cookware set that my wife wanted to get, but we just could not tell why one set was $100, another was $300, and yet another was $600.  What is the difference here???  She did not want a cheap cookware set, and $300 seemed like a deal we can get at another time, so we skipped it.

Final stop was Staples.  When we drove by at 3am, there were only 3 people in line.  When we went back at 5:30, there were about 50.  Again, I got there too late for their $498 HP laptop I had my eyes on, but we got a barebones $298 laptop, to be used by my 11-year-old nephew.  My least favorite thing about Black Friday shopping is the checkout line system.  I waited in a wrong line for 30 minutes before someone sent me off to the laptop line, and I waited almost an hour in that line also.  And we were going to buy a $20 paper shredder here, but amid all the chaos, we left it at the checkout counter.  Good thing we didn’t pay for it.

So in the end, we spent about $600 in 3 stores, with $200 worth of rebates to fill out.  We didn’t make this trip to buy things – I just wanted to experience it with my wife since she had never gone Black Friday shopping before.  It was an odd feeling, walking around while many people were in lines (not “queues”) or pushing carts filled to the top.  Without a specific deal that I had to have, I felt more like a tourist in my own town.  But it was fun in its own way.

Smoking update:  I told my wife, do not smoke.  But if you do, bring me one.  Well, she brought me one last night.  I lasted 89 hours.  And tonight, I’m meeting my drinking buddies.  If I did not have that one smoke, I would have tried to keep the quit going, but that one cigarette makes a big difference.  With the cigarette-free streak over, my wife and I bought a pack last night, since not smoking tonight would be tough.  Oh well, I guess I’ll start a new streak tomorrow.

Sebastian’s First Annual Thanksgiving Blog Extravaganza!

Die with a Smoke

It feels like I’m working on New Year’s Resolutions already, with the post about my diet, and now this post about smoking.  Yes, I am currently trying to quit smoking.

I’ve been smoking for over 10 years.  When I met my wife six and a half years ago, she was also a smoker.  Having both people in a relationship smoke was certainly convenient, and we both knew one day we would decide to quit together.

Well, that day is here.  Actually, that day has been here for almost a year and a half.  We both decided to quit once we got married.  And then, we extended it to our honeymoon trip since it was in Europe (Greece & Turkey) where smoking is much more common and accepted than in US.  Then she got her first job as a nurse, and it seemed like all the co-worker relationships were being built during smoke breaks, so we decided to postpone it.  Then once exam crunch time comes, the stress of quitting is not worth being distracted from studying.  More and more reasons after that.  I don’t think I went more than a week without a cigarette during the past year and a half.

Now, here is the truth.  I know this sounds like an excuse, but I guarantee that it is not.  I would have quit smoking by now if it was not for my wife.  I just cannot quit and then come home to a wife who smells like smoke.  I guess technically, I can, and it is my weakness that prevents me from overcoming my wife’s smoking.  I admit that, so I will say that it is my one weakness.  A part of the reason is that smelling smoke on her makes it harder for me to resist the temptations.  But I must also admit another part of the reason is… jealousy?  That’s not it, but I can’t think of a one-word term to describe what I’m saying.  It would be similar to a two-income married couple where one person is scrimping and saving every last possible penny while the other spends everything on extravagance and luxury.  The saver may feel like this setup is a bit unfair.  Yes, I guess that’s a good one-word term: unfair.

My repeated attempts at quitting being foiled by my wife weakened my resolve.  If I had gone a few days without smoking, and then an opportunity presented itself (stress, drinking), I became more willing to give in, because I figured my wife would give in anyway.  A couple of times, I actually told my wife we quit, and then had a spare pack that I smoked secretly just to see if she would stick to it.  Both times, she smoked again, thereby making my decision to not quit a legitimate one, if not necessarily a good one.  (I did tell her about this site but she did not show much interest.  If she started typing “seb…” on the browser address, this site would pop up but I don’t think she would read it.  My guess is, she will read this years later, when we hopefully are no longer smoking.)

Why is it so hard for her to quit?  Well, #1 reason is that I can quit more easily than she can.  When it comes to doing something good for my life, I am better at not doing than doing.  I think this speaks more about my laziness than my resolve, but for example, not eating and not smoking to improve my health is easier than doing something, such as exercise.  Her willpower apparently isn’t as strong as mine when it comes to smoking.  (But her willpower smokes mine, pun intended, when it comes to many other things, such as studying.)

Other reasons are out of her control.  #2 possibly could be because she is a woman, and I heard it is harder for women to quit than it is for men.  #3 is occupation.  I work in an office where I have to take the elevator down to grab a smoke, by myself.  She is a nurse, a much more stressful job than mine that involves inserting suppositories, catheters, and other unpleasant things going on down there, back there, and all around everywhere.  Plus, many of her co-workers (nurses and aides) smoke, so there are many more temptations for her.  Motivation for taking your breaks outside is that if she takes her breaks inside, she still has to answer any bells that patients ring.  And it is hard to resist smoking if you’re taking breaks outside with other smokers.

After listing those 3 reasons, I’m thinking #3 should actually be #1.  I am not sure how I would behave in her situation.  Well, it has been about 49 hours since my last smoke.  I’m doing okay, but I wonder about my wife.  Is it for real this time?  Is she going to smoke again?  I don’t know but I cannot give up.  Hopefully, this effort will be for good, but I will keep you updated.  I may end up smoking tonight because drinking is my second biggest weakness.  We shall see…

Bargain Blues II

Okay, I had a change of heart since yesterday (is that what a heart transplant recipient says?).  I actually may end up in line.  This is a computer on sale at Staples.  Moneywise, I will not save any money since if not this, I would be getting a slightly lesser model with a smaller screen.  But that is a Dell, and I am kind of tired of the boring Dell computers.  I wanted something different, yet still reliable, so I wanted an HP.  Model shown here is an HP.

Here is my plan: if I find myself wide awake at 3 or 4 in the morning on Friday morning, I will drive over to Staples.  If the line isn’t that bad and the weather is bearable, I will wait in line.

I’ve only done this kind of Black Friday shopping once before.  It was two years ago, and I spent over $1000, and got some good deals.  I got a new computer for my brother, new computer monitor for sister-in-law, GPS system for my then-fiancee, and some cheaper items.  That was worth the wait because I was buying a lot of things.  And you know what?  It wasn’t that bad.  I mean, I am a pro at waiting in line, since I’ve waited over 20 hours twice for Last Comic Standing auditions.

This weekend, I will just be getting a laptop.  Maybe a camera.  And maybe another laptop for my fast-growing nephew.

We’ll see.

Diet Update:
I’ve been forgetting to update you on my progress.  Well, there hasn’t been progress in terms of weight lost.  In fact I’ve gained 2 pounds since a week ago.  But my weight fluctuates within a 5-pound range so that’s not a big deal.  I did another 50 minutes on the elliptical yesterday, and I will try to keep up with that.

Bargain Blues

I have rarely been an impulse shopper.  Ever since I learned the value of money during college, I never bought anything to make myself feel better.  I’m sure I did buy frivolous things here and there but those instances were rare.  When I got my first job out of college, my biggest expenditure was probably paying off student loan (followed by drinking and clubbing).  I liked that feeling of making extra payments between monthly payments when I had extra cash, seeing almost all of it go into principal instead of interest.  Of course, getting paid a lowly $28,000 did not help – I did not have much choice when it came to scrimping.

(A new type of bus annoyance is occurring right now: I am listening to someone playing loud Indian music.  How does this person think that this is okay?  Finally, someone just said something.  Even I was going to say something if no one else did.)

Since then, I’ve gotten better salaries, but my non-shopping ways have continued.  If I am not sure about something, I will always err on the side of not buying.  What if I’m missing out on a great deal?  I will take my chances.  Besides, I can always do without it.  When I do need to buy something, I do my research to find the best products and best prices.  This means I rarely buy something at a mall because if something intrigues me, I will go home and read reviews on it, and usually end up finding a better price online.

But besides the obvious blessing, this is also a curse because sometimes, it takes a lot of research.  I spent quite a few hours yesterday looking at all the Black Friday deals, online sites, and reviews of the current laptops out there.  I spent so much time on it that I was wondering, is this the best way to be spending my time?  I could have been studying instead.  I could have just gone to CNET.com, find the highest rated laptop, and buy it in 5 minutes.  I thought in the past that I can either spend time trying to make more money, or save more money.  I guess the key is, as all things are, balance.

And that balance is why I decided not to do the whole Black Friday camping out thing.  I would rather enjoy my 4-day weekend at home instead of waiting in line freezing my butt off, to save $100.  But if my wife & I finf ourselves bored at 3 am on Friday morning, maybe we’ll take a drive to check out the lines.

To Do List Progress

I’m afraid I’ve only done some of the easy stuff during the past two weeks:

Comedy: Done twice, will do twice more next week.
Sex: Done.  Will not say how many times.
Drink: Done.
Clean my room: Not done.
Organize photos: Not done.
Organize emails: Not done.
Organize Mp3s: Not done.
Back up laptop data: Done.
Buy a new laptop: Currently researching.
Catch up on Survivor and The Event: Done.
Wipe kitchen floor: Done.
Send Chelirious a congratulatory card: Done.
Go to Atlantic City: Done twice.
Move the jokes on my old phone to a more permanent location: Not done.

I still have a lot to do, but having this clunker of a computer is getting in the way.  Black Friday is coming very soon, so I’m going to spend some time today researching the best laptop/deal/value.

Plus, I’ve already begun studying for CPCU 510, so that takes some time away from the list above.  After I take this exam, I’ll have about 3 more weeks of freedom until I start studying for my next exam.